


Baby, you don't have to rush

by 19twentyone



Series: Play that music and listen to my heartbeat [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, College AU, Fluff, M/M, maybe some smut, soonwoo as bffs, subtle mentions of wonhui
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2018-08-17 05:26:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8132143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/19twentyone/pseuds/19twentyone
Summary: The adventures of Soonyoung and Jihoon into that tragic whirlpool called relationship.





	1. Stuck in a Limbo

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by DNCE's Toothbrush :)
> 
> I don't really know how to write so... sorry.

**Stuck in a limbo, half hypnotized**

**Each time I let you stay the night**

**Up in the morning, tangled in sheets**

**We play the moment on repeat**

This wasn’t supposed to keep on happening. Whatever this is, this needs to be stopped. Jihoon groaned and pulled his hair in frustration. It definitely stung but what he’s feeling for his best friend has numbed him to any type of pain.

 

All of this started months ago, on Soonyoung's 20th birthday. Everyone was having a blast, the apartment was full of alcohol and of drunk college students wanting to get laid. So out of all the hundreds of hormonal teenagers, how did the two of them end up together inside a cramped and dimly lit space, osculating each other’s lips as if they’ve been craving for this their whole lives.

 

Jihoon tried to formulate valid reasons as to how they did what best friends shouldn’t even be doing and he tried to but these were all he could come up...

First, they were both definitely wasted so their thinking abilities were out of the picture.

Second, Jihoon denies this but he’s pretty sure Soonyoung is, they’re both so excruciatingly sexually frustrated that they ended up kissing and grinding on each other inside the dimly lit closet with Soonyoung’s hand groping his ass, a vivid memory that keeps on haunting him at night.

And the morning after that incident, after finding themselves half naked and sprawled inside the closet, they couldn't even bare to look at each other. Imagine seeing your best friend’s cum all over your hands, it was pretty traumatizing. Until both declared it all as a very big mistake and that it will DEFINITELY NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

 

Except, it did, a few days later at Jun’s birthday, and another few weeks later at Wonwoo’s birthday, and a few days after that they ended fucking each other for real. And now Soonyoung’s cum is definitely on Jihoon’s bed sheets and his clothes scattered messily on the floor.

 

Jihoon groggily opens his eyes to a pounding headache and with a naked Kwon Soonyoung drooling all over his white pillow case. Wait, NAKED?!

 

He groans in irritation, he tries to cup his own face wanting to get rid of the drowsiness and the annoyance of the situation, but his left arm is pinned underneath Soonyoung’s chest. Great.

 

He shoves Soonyoung roughly off his arm and onto the floor, falling with a loud thud accompanied by a husky groan. Jihoon doesn't look down to see if he killed Soonyoung and he rolls onto his own stomach, burying his face in the pillow.

 

“Shit. My throat feels like sandpaper.” Soonyoung sits up and complains, his voice hoarse and cracking. He weakly stands up and throws himself on the bed again, grabbing the duvet over his naked body. Jihoon sneaks a smile when he feels that familiar dip on his bed despite himself, despite his annoyance at his best friend.

 

“I need my morning coffee.” Jihoon turns his head to face the other. There’s a comfortable silence as they both get lost in each other’s hazel brown eyes. The sunlight cascading down and filling Jihoon’s room. Jihoon snaps out of the trance first and Soonyoung "fake" coughs.

 

“Ugh, fine.” Soonyoung replies and sits up on the bed, his back muscles flexing. Jihoon stares for a moment and groans after realizing what he just did.

 

“Thanks.” Jihoon only mumbles. Soonyoung gives him a grin before standing up and walking out of the bed. Jihoon knows he’s naked but tries his best not to look. _No looking_.

 

Jihoon subtly takes a slight peek and sees Soonyoung wriggling into the jeans he wore last night. Jihoon doesn't forget to marvel at how full and thick Soonyoung's thighs look in those. Jihoon mentally slaps himself for even thinking that way. He sees Soonyoung leave the room without a shirt on, his biceps flexing when he twists the knob open, and Jihoon mentally slaps himself _again_. It wasn’t his fault that his eyes couldn’t stop ogling. Okay, maybe it was.

 

Jihoon doesn’t know what to do except punch the bedside where Soonyoung slept hoping to release all the frustrations he has and _so he does_.

 

When he feels as if the bed has had enough of his fists, he pulls himself out and starts to get dressed. He grabs one of his own black boxers and Soonyoung's white shirt. It's loose on him and this feels oddly domestic but Jihoon needs his morning coffee and so he trudges forward to the kitchen. He secretly hopes Soonyoung hasn't burned down half of his apartment.

 

He enters the kitchen and leans on the white painted wall just behind Soonyoung. Jihoon looks at how defined Soonyoung's muscles are, making him linger in the question if the said guy was actually working out, as Soonyoung reached for the cup on the board. Jihoon mentally slaps himself, _again_.

 

“What are you planning to do toda-..” Soonyoung’s sentence gets cut off when he sees what Jihoon was wearing. Loose, white shirt AND HIS OWN. _Shit_.

 

“I’m going to the library, my thesis won’t type itself.” Jihoon turns around and walks towards the chair, the shirt slightly lifting up from the curves of his ass. Soonyoung gulps and begins to gaze down, his eyes stopping on the small hickey in between Jihoon’s milky thighs. His breath hitches. He wonders how Jihoon must’ve sounded when he sucked and licked that particular spot, how Jihoon must've screeched with his high pitched voice, how Jihoon must've scolded him for leaving a mark.

Soonyoung gets snapped back to reality when he hears the sound of the kettle. He pours Jihoon a glass of hot water and pulls out one packet of mixed coffee from the drawer. 

“Nice.” Jihoon warmly stares at the cup of coffee and Soonyoung couldn’t help but sigh. This feels very wrong, why is he topless and serving coffee to his supposed to best friend? Why does this feel very couple(ish)?

 

“What are you thinking about?” Jihoon says as he blows air on the surface of the cup. Soonyoung sighs and leans forward, his elbows resting on the counter.

 

“Us.” He simply mutters and he sees how Jihoon’s body go rigid, and he sighs before turning around to face the sink.

 

“We should stop this, Soonyoung.” Jihoon says, his voice cautious and he hears the tap water hit the sink.

 

“I know, Jihoon. I know.” Soonyoung whispers the last bit. His attention directed on the running water gliding on his palms and Jihoon sighs.

 

“I need to start the day.” Jihoon mutters and Soonyoung gets the signal.

“I need to check on the … _something_ too.” Soonyoung runs towards Jihoon's room and a minute later he comes back fully dressed in one of the sweaters he had left here some time ago.

 

“See you later?” Soonyoung asks his feet walking himself towards the door and Jihoon doesn’t stand up to escort the boy outside.

 

“Yeah, see you later.” Jihoon takes a peek and sees Soonyoung putting on black sneakers at his doorstep.

 

“Bye, Ji.” Jihoon thinks for a second if he should leave him with a kiss, with an I love you, with a take care, or even let him stay for the whole day. Jihoon’s tongue gets burnt by the coffee and he hears the door slam shut.

 

If only they weren’t this complicated.

Jihoon sighs long enough it turns into a groan.


	2. Stay the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon asks but Soonyoung doesn't know.  
> Jihoon thinks he, himself, is stupid for even trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [unedited as always and the grammar sucks so sorry for that]

**No need to question next time we meet**

**I know you're coming home with me**

**Sweat like a sauna, break out the ice**

**I know you're going to stay the night**

Jihoon lets his face fall with a loud thud on the thick music history book, his notes scattered all over the table. It was already midnight, the library he was supposed to be staying at, was closed for the day. And now he’s stuck with the annoying background music of the café and rude waiters staring at him because he hasn’t ordered anything in 8 hours.

 

He hears the door chime, signaling the arrival of a costumer.

 

“I suppose you haven’t eaten anything for the whole day?” Jihoon groans at the annoyingly all too familiar voice, it’s so aggravating how he can recognize it so easily.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Soonyoung says and Jihoon hears footsteps walk away from his table, followed by Soonyoung’s voice ordering food. Jihoon’s stomach growls at the mention of them and he regrets not feeding his stomach hours ago.

 

Jihoon’s head only pops up when he smells the sweet aroma of meat and bread. His eyes focus on the tray Soonyoung was holding.

 

“You look like you haven’t eaten in months.” Soonyoung teases and Jihoon growls at him, snatching the burger when Soonyoung gets close. Soonyoung chuckles and plops himself down.

 

…..

 

“What are you still doing here? It’s already 3 in the morning.” Jihoon mutters, his eyes not leaving the laptop with his fingers typing. He catches a glimpse of Soonyoung looking up from his phone.

 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing?” Soonyoung’s eyebrows knit teasingly.

 

They were the only customers in the café. Jihoon's side of the table was full, filled by his notes, pads, and books while Soonyoung was sitting in front of him, elbows propped up, phone inches away from his face.

 

“I’m studying and you’re… what are you even doing?” Jihoon asks and this time he looks at Soonyoung. It doesn’t take him a second before his eyes scan Soonyoung’s entire body. He was clad in black adidas sweat pants, white shirt paired with his favorite black jacket. Jihoon thinks he looks hot but he doesn’t need to feed his best friend's ego.

 

“I’m studying Pokemon GO.” Soonyoung sees Jihoon snort at his stupid response but the smile creeping on the younger’s lips gives him away.

 

“Touché.” Jihoon says and drinks a mouthful of water to keep him awake. Soonyoung studies Jihoon’s face for a moment, something he doesn’t do when the other was looking. He looks at how Jihoon’s button nose scrunches when he’s reading, how his eyes stare at nothing until an idea hits him, how his red luscious lips open when he bites the end of his pen. Soonyoung almost misses the dark hue underneath Jihoon’s lovely eyes. He sighs in worry.

 

“How many hours did you sleep this week?” Soonyoung asks, he locks his phone and stares at his friend. Jihoon replies him with a hum.

Soonyoung guesses the answer and he knows it’s not enough.

 

“Go home with me?” Jihoon almost spits the water out when he hears Soonyoung say those words.

 

“What?!” Jihoon didn’t mean to sound so worked up.

 

“I said, go home with me.” Soonyoung inches forward, his torso gliding upwards and resting on the wooden table. His warm soft hand grasping Jihoon’s cold clammy ones and Jihoon finds himself leaning towards the warmth. He unknowingly cowers and watches Soonyoung’s forefinger draw circles on top of his. It calms him for a bit but only until reality pulls him back, _rather harshly_.

 

He feels the cold air sweep up his nape making his body shiver. Soonyoung still has his warmth spreading all over Jihoon's chest and he decides it’s now or never.

 

“What are we, Soonyoung? Tell me, what are we?” Jihoon roughly but slowly pulls his hand back. The coldness rushing back to him like waves crashing on the shore. He _slightly_ regrets his decision.

 

He sees his friend cower back to his own chair. He sees Soonyoung’s eyes switch to panic mode. He mentally punches himself for making his best friend feel this way but he doesn’t back down, _not yet_.

 

“Is this what best friends are supposed to do?” Jihoon asks, he’s calm now and he looks up at Soonyoung, the latter’s gaze directed downwards on his books, fiddling on the edge of the table.

 

“I don’t know, Jihoon. I honestly don’t know.” Soonyoung replies meekly. His voice sounds so soft and delicate that Jihoon doesn’t even want to talk about things that might hurt him. Jihoon wasn’t even supposed to attack Soonyoung. It wasn’t like this were all Soonyoung’s fault. It’s both of theirs and Jihoon just wants to solve it, but how?

 

He decides to drop the subject. The awkward silence continuing to envelope the café as Jihoon watched Soonyoung play with his hair. Cap off, ruffle hair, cap on, realign bangs, and the cycle goes on.

 

Jihoon heaves out heavy breaths and settles himself. The body can only respond in two forms; Fight or Flight. He packs all of his things inside his backpack. Jihoon thinks the answer is simple, he thinks that the answer is in front of them staring right at their faces. But the two of them just make things complicated.

 

Jihoon finds himself stacking another wall up his fortress for his own protection, a form of self-defense.

 

“I’m going home.” He mutters, leaving Soonyoung in his own thoughts but a hold on his wrist stops him before he could even stand up.

 

“Let me at least walk you home, _hoonie_.”

 

And Jihoon’s thousand storey wall crumbles down when he hears the endearment that only this guy can use, only Soonyoung. Jihoon hates himself for giving Soonyoung so much power over him.

 

Jihoon hates himself and he wishes Soonyoung would too.

 

...

 

The walk home was spent in silence and subtle side glances. Jihoon didn’t even pay attention to their surroundings only when the silence gets consumed by his ringtone. Soonyoung stops walking and Jihoon notices the familiarity of the neighborhood. Jihoon doesn’t move and decides to answer the call.

 

“Hey, hey mom. Why are you crying?” Jihoon’s voice is cracking. He looks at Soonyoung and he feels a hand clasp over his own.

 

“What do you mean? How did dad even drive the motorcycle?” Jihoon’s voice is loud and Soonyoung tries to calm him by rubbing circles on the back of his hand. It seems to do the trick and Jihoon exhales.

 

“Is he okay?... Call me when he wakes up... Yeah, bye mom...” Jihoon shoves his phone back in his pocket and looks at Soonyoung. The other smiles at him reassuringly and Jihoon doesn’t know what to say so he replies with a curt smile.

 

“Is your dad fine?”

 

“Yeah, just some minor cuts, he’ll live.” Jihoon replies and turns away from Soonyoung. 

He moves his feet towards his apartment building.

 

But before he could even get five steps away from him, words slip out of his mouth like broken tap.

“Can you stay the night?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I wasn't procrastinating.... okay, maybe I was.


	3. Cause I don't want this to end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting drunk is never good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao... I sort of forgot this fic even existed(?) ..
> 
> unedited, as always.. and the writing still sucks but here's chapter three :))

**Cause I don't want this to end**

**And there's no need to play pretend**

**If you stay with me again**

**Would you mind closing the bedroom door?**

 

Jihoon and Soonyoung find themselves drinking beer inside Jihoon’s apartment. Their butts flatly sitting on the cold floor, legs lazily sprawled underneath the table. Even with just two cans of the beverage, they’re both halfway to being drunk. It was funny how their alcohol levels were the same- equally low.

 

Jihoon doesn’t remember what happened but he was laughing about some joke Soonyoung said. His head leaning on Soonyoung’s shoulders, Jihoon doesn’t normally like skinship but he’s drunk and he had always been undeniably comfortable with Soonyoung. Jihoon felt Soonyoung’s warm palm hold onto his bony knees and it stays there, the heat keeping Jihoon fuzzy and the two of them sigh in content.

 

Jihoon wonders how he feels incredibly at ease and perfectly cozy with Soonyoung. He wonders how Soonyoung’s voice would send tingles down his spine as the latter would utter his name so effortlessly melodious. He wonders how satisfying it is to have Soonyoung’s bony, thin fingers messily grasping his brunette hair. He wonders how Soonyoung’s lips all over his body could feel so out of this world, so intoxicatingly pleasing. It was a mystery how much Soonyoung affected him.

 

Even Jihoon could not deny the fact that with Soonyoung, everything felt so right.

 

Jihoon craned his neck towards Soonyoung’s flushed face, his chin resting on the guy’s shoulder. His torso leaning at Soonyoung’s side with his arms lightly tapping the back of the older, supporting his weight, caressing and scribbling circles on his spine. Soonyoung knew Jihoon was drunk. Hell, even Soonyoung knows he's drunk and if Jihoon ever realizes the vulnerability of the situation, Soonyoung’s fucked because the last time (2 days ago) they got drunk together, they ended up fighting (on the bed, naked and everything). Whenever the other was this clingy, he has definitely reached his alcohol toxicity. But nevertheless, Soonyoung found himself staring right into Jihoon’s hooded eyes, getting lost so easily in them.

 

Jihoon’s ears were red, his face flushed, the alcohol bestowing him the courage to look at Soonyoung’s lips just because he wants to kiss him. His eyes linger at how chapped Soonyoung’s lips are but they're swollen, red, and puckered as if Soonyoung’s giving him the green light. He tries to shake the thought and he hears Soonyoung’s babbling.

 

“I like you.” Soonyoung playfully snickers as he drops those heavy words. Jihoon only hums, his brain not processing what the older had just spouted. Jihoon breaks away from their contact and pours himself a glass.

 

“I like you.” Soonyong repeats and Jihoon still doesn’t know what he means. He reaches for the chips at the edge of the table.

 

“Jihoon.” Jihoon’s eyes are heavy when he turns around to face Soonyoung. He drags himself back to where his position was but now he’s settling himself in between Soonyoung’s thighs. With his back pressed on Soonyoung’s chest, his head resting just below Soonyoung’s chin and he finds himself sighing in content.

 

“I like you… like a lot.” Soonyoung announces and Jihoon involuntarily closes his eyes. He hasn’t done much backhugging but he thinks it feels really incredible and that he wants more of it.

 

“And how do you want me to react to that?” Jihoon reaches for Soonyoung’s arms and forcibly encircles them around him, caging him inside Soonyoung’s warmth and he thinks its heavenly.

 

“I don’t know? I just had the urge to say that to you.” Jihoon felt the shrug that Soonyoung just did and he sees Soonyoung’s fingers grasp for his own arms, locking him fully inside.

 

“Soonyoung, you treat me the same way you treat your other friends.” Jihoons states a matter of factly. His slender fingers lightly hovering, teasingly touching the arms in front of him, the arms that has him enclosed.

 

“Then, let me treat you right.” Soonyoung whispers, his breath dancing over Jihoon’s bright pink face. Jihoon breaks the arm cage and turns his body halfway to judge Soonyoung and Jihoon finds himself scoffing. But what he doesn’t expect is Soonyoung closing their gap, latching their lips together.

 

After a few minutes of grunting and biting, Jihoon finds himself underneath Soonyoung naked and sweating. His bare back flattened on the hard floor, the table and the couch supporting his knees. Jihoon has his eyes closed, his legs wrapped around Soonyoung’ hips. Their clothes are haphazardly lying across the dimly lit apartment. Soonyoung has his arms bracketed beside Jihoon’s head, his forehead placed on top of Jihoon’s, his eyes looking at Jihoon’s closed ones, marveling at Jihoon perspiring. Jihoon feels oddly comfortable, his body somehow reacting even more so than in the past and everything falls into place. They have never tried such an intimate position, Jihoon has his hands clasped around Soonyoung’s biceps, their bodies pressed against each other.

 

“Jihoon, I want you to look me in the eyes.” Soonyoung whispers heavily, the puff of air sends electricity down Jihoon’s spine, his alcohol breath hovering over Jihoon’s face. Jihoon shakes his head in defiance; this was all too new and embarrassing. Soonyoung has his hard length placed on his crevice, slightly grinding them with every breath Soonyoung takes, and this, this was all too distracting.

 

“Soonyoung, please, just fucking move, god damn it!” The urgency in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed and Soonyoung shuts him up with a passionate kiss.

 

“Babe, I’m trying to treat you right, okay?” Soonyoung’s right arm goes south and Jihoon can feel it hovering over his hardness. And in a few seconds his breath hitches when he feels Soonyoung’s length insert inside him in an excruciatingly slow manner, teasing him ever so slightly.

 

“Fuck that feels so good.” Jihoon shuts his eyes as Soonyoung continued to gently enter himself, filling Jihoon’s space. His face scrunches from the undeniable pain but it later subsides when he feels the other kiss every inch of his face fervently.

 

Jihoon doesn’t know what to feel when Soonyoung starts rocking on top of him, back and forth. His ass grinding on the cold hard floor, he’s sure it stings but Soonyoung’s lips are enough to distract him of any type of pain. The pace was slow, like they were both savoring the moment, like any moment now, the bubble that they’ve created themselves could burst.

 

Soonyoung continued to whisper sweet nothings in his ears,

 

“You’re beautiful.”

“Pretty as always.”

“My lovely fairy.”

“My Jihoonie.”

 

 And Jihoon couldn’t help but melt into them.

 

“Please just look at me.” Soonyoung begs as he leaves chaste kisses on top of Jihoon’s slacked jaw, his button nose, his swollen lips, and on his closed eyes, their bodies still moving in unison.

 

Jihoon finds himself fluttering his eyelids open and he meets Soonyoung’s intense gaze.

 

“I love you.” The words slip out of Soonyoung’s mouth when he feels Jihoon’s walls clench around him. Jihoon’s body trembles as the wave of euphoria hits him and Soonyoung follows suit.

 

Jihoon hopes that Soonyoung didn’t mean it.

Soonyoung hopes that Jihoon didn’t hear it.


	4. Closing the bedroom door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all because of the alarm.

**When you're standing there in your underwear**

**And my t-shirt from the night before**

**With your messed up hair and your feet still bare**

**Would you mind closing the bedroom door?**

 

 

 

Jihoon wakes up to the sound of his smoke detector and the smell of burnt toast filling his entire apartment. He throws his arms above his head and flexes his entire body, his back cracking in the process. He shifts in his bed and closes his eyes once more; hoping that whatever Soonyoung did isn’t as bad as what his thoughts were feeding him.

Jihoon hears shuffling of feet and the sound of someone falling on his bum followed by a string of curses.

 

“Uhm… Ji?” Jihoon replies with a groan.

 

“Ji?” Soonyoung whispers, trying to wake his best friend up.

 

“Go away, Soonyoung.” Jihoon huskily mutters, he rolls on his other side.

 

“But I don’t know how to turn your detector off.” Jihoon slowly opens his eyes and is met by Soonyoung, who’s dripping wet with a sheepish smile plastered on his face, standing beside his queen sized bed.

 

“I hate you.” Jihoon deadpans but not with a hint of malice in his voice.

 

“I love you too.” Soonyoung skips towards the kitchen and he almost slips (three times) but that doesn’t faze Jihoon.

 

Jihoon knows Soonyoung’s tone is playful but why does he seem so affected by it?

 

 

…

 

 

“Why’d you put the toast in the rice cooker?” Jihoon shouldn’t have been surprised about what Soonyoung did but this, this was too much.

 

“I thought it would work, okay?” Soonyoung huffs, his back leaning against the sink, as he watched Jihoon fix the smoke detector. Thankfully, Jihoon had already washed the clothes he’d left here before so now he’s dry, the smell of fresh laundry warming up his senses.

 

“It’s called a rice cooker for a reason, to cook rice!” Anyone would say that Jihoon is beyond annoyed by now and would gleefully stab anyone to death but no, not Soonyoung.

 

“It’s okay, I didn’t get hurt, and I didn’t die. Thank you for worrying over me, Jihoonie.”

 

“Shut up! Who said I was worried?!” Jihoon shouts but the blush creeping on his cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed. Soonyoung chuckles to himself.

 

Jihoon steps off the chair, the detector now off, the kitchen still flooded with water but Soonyoung likes it. He listens to the swish of water as Jihoon walks towards the counter in front of him and plops down.

 

“I heard a little fairy whisper it into my ears.” Soonyoung taps his ears lightly and Jihoon stares at him with disgust.

 

“You’re crazy.” Jihoon spats but Soonyoung fondly smiles.

 

 

…

 

 

“At least I saved your coffee.” Soonyoung pouts,

 

“Yes, but its lukewarm, like water.” Jihoon complains.

 

“ _Thank you for the coffee, Soonyoungie_. You’re welcome Jihoon. I’m glad you’re thankful for my efforts.” Soonyoung mocks and Jihoon subtly smirks as he gulps down a mouthful of his coffee.

 

“So, how did your audition go?” Jihoon asks as he watched Soonyoung opening his empty cupboards reaching for something.

 

“Aha! Found it.” Soonyoung waves a nutri bar and Jihoon swears he forgot about that.

 

“It went well but I don’t think I’d get picked for the exchange student program. There were so many talented dancers.” Soonyoung worriedly states while munching on the snack.

 

“I’m sure you’ll get picked. You’re the best one out there.” Jihoon rarely compliments and Soonyoung always lights up when he does. Jihoon wonders why.

 

“I hope so. It’s Julliard for 10 months. It would look so good on my resume.” Soonyoung says and turns around to throw the empty wrap.

 

Jihoon feels selfish for thinking the other way around but he doesn’t voice out. He doesn’t and will never do.

 

… 

 

“Can I borrow your toothbrush?” Soonyoung asks as he runs his hands on the tap water.

 

“No.” Jihoon deadpans, his brain racking up new melodies. Soonyoung turns around to pout at him.

 

“I don’t know where your mouth has been.” Jihoon mutters, his fingers tapping on the wooden counter, trying to match the beat inside his head.

 

“Do you want me to enumerate?” Soonyoung fully turns around, a cocky grin plastered on his face.

 

“Try me.” Jihoon challenges and he slightly smiles when his fingers copy the beat he’s been thinking of. But what he doesn’t notice is the shift in the atmosphere, Soonyoung moving forward, a sly grin plastered on his chapped ones.

 

“On your lips.” Jihoon lifts his head up and sees Soonyoung’s gaze and it’s enough to make his head go haywire.

 

“On your skin.” Soonyoung huskily moans and Jihoon has his mouth slightly ajar.

 

“On your clavicles.” Jihoon almost chokes on his saliva.

 

“On your nipples.” Soonyoung leans forward, torso gliding up on the counter. Jihoon forgets how to breathe.

 

“On your navel.” Soonyoung inches his face closer and Jihoon reflexively leans his body backwards.

 

“In between your thighs.” Soonyoung’s breath is dangerously hovering over Jihoon’s lips. Jihoon doesn’t move, his thoughts’ only content is Soonyoung’s red lips right in front of him.

 

“On your cock.” Soonyoung lewdly whispers, the last syllable ringing inside Jihoon’s head, and he tops it off with a smirk.

 

Jihoon doesn’t wait a second and forcefully pulls Soonyoung in by the face and latches their lips together.

 

But this time, it’s not the sound of the alarm that fills Jihoon’s apartment.

 

 

... 

 

 

“So, are you two dating yet?” Soonyoung’s head whipped around to look at his roommate who was reading a book on his side of the room.

 

“Shut up, Won.” Soonyoung sighs as he continued to dry his hair with a towel.

 

“God, you’re so hopeless.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes and puts his book down the desk.

 

“Why don’t you just ask him out?” Wonwoo suggests, he’s really not the type to meddle with other people’s relationship but for his roommate/best friend, he’s willing to go out of his comfort zone.

 

“Look at you, all confident and talkative.” Soonyoung playfully teases.

 

“If you understand the amount frustration we’ve been experiencing because you two keep on jumping on (quite literally, if I might add) and off each other for months, then you can tease me.” Wonwoo deadpans, his gaze serious.

 

“You can’t even look at Junhui.” And this is Soonyoung trying his best to change the topic.

 

“Shut up! We’re not sucking each other’s dicks, unlike you two!” Wonwoo shouts and Soonyoung catches a glimpse of his roommate choking his shadow. Soonyoung heartily laughs.

 

“When I get in the Dance Program, I’ll confess. I’ll confess with all the students out in the park, with bouquets of roses everywhere. I will do just that.”

 

“Is that a promise?” Wonwoo says, his hand now back to the book he’s reading.

 

“A promise.” Soonyoung says before leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay .. I got really preoccupied with school. [sighs]
> 
> unedited as always, what can I expect from myself.
> 
> talk to me on twitter: @LEEtheKWON


	5. Finally, a finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things slowly get resolved once you start working on it.

**I just can't let you go** ****  
**Give me something I've never known** ****  
**So maybe you don't have to rush** ****  
**You could leave a toothbrush at my place**   


 

_“Is it true?” Jihoon’s seething, words tasting like venom as it left the composer’s mouth._

 

_“Ji-...” Soonyoung can see the flush of anger on the younger’s face._

 

_“I’m asking if it's true!” Jihoon’s shouting and Soonyoung cowers a bit. He’s fucked up, fucked up so bad._

 

_“It’s not like that. I can explain.” The dancer reasons out but he knows he can’t explain because what Jihoon’s thinking? It’s definitely like that._

 

_“I’M FUCKING ASKING IF IT'S TRUE, YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT! IS IT FUCKING TRUE?” Jihoon’s beyond angry now. Soonyoung has seen his best friend’s anguish but it was never directed to him._

 

_“Y-yes. It’s true. But I-...#” He confirms and Jihoon’s not even surprised but the expression of pure disappointment takes over the composer’s features._

 

_“So you based your confession on your fucking audition results?”_

 

_“Jihoon, it's not like that.” Soonyoung stutters, he’s shaking so much._

 

_“Oh yeah? Cause this is how i understood it. You’re gonna confess to me only if you get in but if you don't, you’ll what? Continue fucking me and making me feel loved and shit but the next morning, you are running off and out of my doors. Am I that easy to you?”_

 

_“Am I not worthy of a confession without anything behind it?” Jihoon almost sounds like he’s about cry and Soonyoung’s has never felt so horrible in his life._

 

_“You don't understand, Ji-...”_

 

_“What don’t I understand? Did I misunderstood you that when you get in the program, you’d confess and leave me here in South Korea while you go live your dreams in New York?” Jihoon manages to make his words bite, Soonyoung flinches as every word hit him._

 

_“And when you don’t get in, what’ll happen to us? Nothing? No relationship whatsoever? Just fuck buddies. Well, sad for you because that’s not how life works, Kwon Soonyoung.”_

 

_“Ji, calm down- I-..” Soonyoung takes a tentative step forward but Jihoon instantly moves backward like he’s the plague._

 

_“Was I just a past time for you? Was I never important?” Jihoon’s voice is soft now, like he’s slowly breaking._

 

_“Jihoon, it's not like that.” Soonyoung reasons out._

 

_“To think that I was actually going to officially ask you out. Maybe even ask you to be my boyfriend or something crappy like that but thank god, you saved me from making a huge mistake.” Jihoon chuckles coldy, looks at him without any emotion behind it._

 

_“You’re wasting my time. Goodbye, Kwon Soonyoung.”_

 

_“Jihoon, I love you.” Soonyoung’s crying now and Jihoon almost falters when he sees his best friend's tears._

 

_“I hope we never see each other again.”_

  


Soonyoung wakes up in a jolt, His body sweating, chest heaving, and muscles shaking. He looks around his room, the window shutters are open and the warm rays of light filtering in, giving his room a soft shade. He slightly laughs at himself, at the situation he’s currently in. He scans the room and it's still dark out. The lamp post outside giving enough light through his shutters. It's still one o'clock in the morning, too early to be awake and too late to fall back to sleep.

 

Soonyoung’s feeling a little thirsty though, so he decides to put on his jacket on the floor and the pants right next to it. He also really needs to clean up but he can do it some other time.

 

He jogs his heart out for the first time.

  


…….

  


He just finished his 10 o'clock morning class when his professor ended the lesson with a congratulatory speech.

 

“Congratulations to Mr. Kwon Soonyoung for making our department proud. Your classmate was chosen for the Juilliard Internship Program in New York. Please give your batchmate a round of applause.” To say that Kwon Soonyoung was beyond ecstatic was a huge understatement. He felt like running towards the podium, where his professor stood, just to hug the old lady with all of his heart and soul. He felt like he could conquer the world. He felt invincible, like he could do anything. His mouth was starting to hurt from smiling so much.

 

“And also we’d like to acknowledge the chosen student from the Music Department, Mr. Lee Jihoon.”

 

_What._

 

“That is all. Class dismissed.”

 

Soonyoung was absolutely fucked. He was utterly deep in the shit, face first fucked because hey, he got into the juilliard program (CONGRATULATIONS) and guess who’s coming with him. Of course, none other than the greatest music major in their batch, Lee Jihoon. Perhaps, Soonyoung has toyed around the idea of them dating while they're in the program (maybe even giggled a little bit) but shit, now that he was so determined to confess, everything just felt so impossiblely possible.

  


………

  


“UGHHHH.” Soonyoung groans loudly. Wonwoo’s fixing his newly laundered clothes in his closet because Soonyoung never does that.

 

“UGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH” He groans even louder just to get his roommate to notice him.

 

“UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” He thrashes around his bed, kicking the air while he’s at it.

 

“Stop being so loud before I throw all of your porn collection out the window.” Wonwoo looks at him in distaste but Soonyoung knows the latter loves him.

 

“I DO NOT HAVE THOS-...” He denies and Wonwoo just rolls his eyes.

 

“Are you really gonna make me tear your bed down to find your hidden stash? Maybe I could even find Jihoon’s picture in there, because trust me, I never back down to a challenge.” Wonwoo suggests and Soonyoung’s eyes widen at the thought of it.

 

“O-oh, shut up! I just need some of your platonic love and attention for a sec. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE A PROPER BESTFRIEND FOR ONCE?” Soonyoung shouts and Wonwoo sighs before placing Jihoon’s sweater, that somehow got mixed in with his clothes, inside the wardrobe.

 

“Fine.” Wonwoo sits next to his unmoving body on his bed.

 

“So, Jihoon problems?” The best friend suggests and Soonyoung lets out the most exaggerated gasp he could muster.

 

“HUH, SEE YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE. YOU NEVER ASK ME WHAT’S WRONG AND JUST HIT ME STRAIGHT IN THE FACE. BUT YES, I HATE THAT YOU'RE RIGHT, JIHOON PROBLEMS.”

 

“Maybe, if you’d stop moping around and confess your undying love for him then you’d have no more problems to deal with.” Wonwoo offers nonchalantly while Soonyoung drowns himself with the pillow Jihoon uses whenever the smaller sleeps here.

 

“Easy for you to say.” He says in a muffled voice.

 

“Listen, you can just ask him to see that movie you two always keep on talking about. Baby steps, Soonyoung, baby steps.” Wonwoo helpfully suggests while patting his ass as some sort of comfort in the wonwoo dictionary.

 

“Okay.” He thinks its not a bad idea.

 

…….

  


And they do watch the movie together, Jihoon automatically agreeing (not even letting him finish) to go with him at the mention of “Black Panther”. Although the line for it was excruciatingly long, Soonyoung wouldn’t miss it for the world. With Jihoon continuously talking about the Marvel Universe, Soonyoung could listen to his voice forever. If Jihoon wasn't a music major, he’d probably major in this one. Soonyoung doesn't say that he knows all of the stuff Jihoon’s been saying for the past hour because Jihoon looks beautiful talking about the things he loves.

 

Soonyoung wonders if Jihoon has talked about him in that way before. The younger looks so animated like that, lost in his own thoughts while his mouth rambles a lot of things, trying to contain so much of his excitement. The thought makes his heart lurch. God, Jihoon was going to be the death of him.

 

They talked about the Juilliard Program at lunch that day but Jihoon seemed nonchalant about it (although Soonyoung could literally hear the younger’s excited squeals in the back of his mind). Jihoon told him they’d be rooming together anyway and that’s not a new thing so he supposes nothing would change when they're in Korea versus when they’ll be in London.

  


………

  


“WHEN I SAY THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE FROM MARVEL IT IS THE BEST MOVIE FROM MARVEL! I AM NOT OVERHYPING IT OR ANYTHING ITS JUST WOW! I could hug the director right now and I don't even like hugging. I’d have to watch that again to properly give every single detail its justice. Soonyoung?” Jihoon’s talking to him and Soonyoung almost trips on a stone, successfully getting him out of his trance.

 

 _Fuck_. He’s been caught. He’s been longingly staring at Jihoon’s lips for a while now, the movie was great (THE GREATEST) but he knew Jihoon’s lips on his would be the greatest one right now.

 

“H-huh? Oh yeah, Okoye was my favorite character.” He absentmindedly replies, trying to get Jihoon back to rambling about the movie, and so that Soonyoung can go back to staring at his lips some more.

 

“You’ve been so out of it since the movie started. Is something bothering you?” Soonyoung almost coos at Jihoon’s worried tone.

 

Shit. Soonyoung should just confess and get this over with.

 

“Yeah, just thinking about a lot of things” Soonyoung assures the younger.

  


…...

  


“Hey, I wanted to tell you something.” Soonyoung starts, their hands brushing against each other as they walk under the streetlights.

 

“Yeah, sure, go ahead.” Jihoon answers back, the cold wind making them shiver even though they’re both warmly dressed.

  


_It’s now or never._

  


“I like you.” Soonyoung says without breathing in between, says it so fast he thinks Jihoon didn't catch it. But Jihoon stops in his tracks, staring at the path in front of them

 

“I _like_ you.” Soonyoung says it again while looking at Jihoon this time, shoving his cold hands inside his jacket pockets. He watches as the red pigment blooms on Jihoon’s ears even more. This guy’s really really cute and adorable and Soonyoung wants to have his babies.

 

“Jihoon, I like you.” Soonyoung throws for the third time when Jihoon still doesn't look at him. Their breathing synchronizing as Jihoon starts moving forward, still not looking at him.

 

“Yeah, I heard you the first time. There was no need for you to repeat it.” Jihoon finally says when he was three steps away from the dancer.

 

“I-i just thought you didn't hear me. You weren't responding so I repeated it for like three times just to get it to you but you don't have to say anything yet, I just thought I could put that out there since we were both drunk when I first told you and I just really really like you, Ji.”

 

“Okay. I get it.” Jihoon chuckles at Soonyoung’s rambling. God, Soonyoung was too cute when he’s blushing. The smaller turns around to face him, just in time when Soonyoung took a step forward making their bodies closer, meeting halfway.

 

“I kind of like you too. Like a lot.” Jihoon looks up, his eyes look glassy but the adorable smile on his face is enough for Soonyoung’s heartstrings to tug.

 

“REALLY?” He screams and Jihoon giggles at his excitement.

 

“Yeah, so shut up and start walking, mister. It's getting pretty late.” Jihoon suggests before turning back to their path.

 

They started sauntering towards the university grounds, their hands holding each other’s.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Soonyoung asks giving Jihoon’s hand a squeeze.

 

“Yes, Soonyoung, you don't have to ask me every time you say something.” Jihoon fakely scolds and squeezes his hand back but the smile tugging on his lips makes Soonyoung’s heart flutter.

 

“I was just going to warn you because when I like someone I annoy the hell out of them.” Soonyoung jokingly says as they near Jihoon’s apartment.

 

“You're annoying enough as it is, there’s more?” Jihoon teases him some more.

 

“Yah! Don’t play with my feelings!” Jihoon chuckles at Soonyoung’s loud reply. God, this dancer’s too fun to tease.

  


……..

  


“Soonyoung?” Jihoon says once they arrive in his apartment building.

 

“Y-yeah?” Soonyoung faces him, not letting go of Jihoon’s hand.

 

“T-thank you… for tonight.” Jihoon softly says as Soonyoung swings their held hands left and right.

 

“You’re welcome.” Soonyoung genuinely smiles for the nth time that evening.

  


……...

  


_Can I come over?_

 

That was the last text Soonyoung read before Jihoon magically showed up on his room’s balcony with a flushed face and jacket reeking of alcohol. How did he even manage to climb the fire exit in his drunk state?

 

“Jihoon, you’re drunk.” Soonyoung points out the obvious when Jihoon plops down on his desk chair.

 

“No, I’m not.” The smaller denies but the slur in his voice says the opposite.

 

“You reek of alcohol.” Soonyoung half shouts as he leaves the room to get some water for his _small_ _child_.

 

“I’m just a little tipsy.” Jihoon says when he takes a little sip in the glass of water.

 

“Why are you even here at this hour? And drink the water, you're gonna regret it if you don't.” Soonyoung scolds when Jihoon motions to put it down. The younger pouts but drinks the glass in one go before answering.

 

“Is it bad if I wanted to see my boyfriend?”

 

“Ji-..” Soonyoung felt that. The lurch his stomach did when Jihoon said those words, hell yeah, he felt that. They were still pretty new in the relationship business and it would probably take awhile for Soonyoung to be accustomed to Jihoon’s drunk honest self. It's not like Jihoon even drinks all the time. These are rare occurrences.

 

“Your lips look really pretty.” And there Jihoon goes again. Soonyoung can't help but giggle. But he is a strong man, he has to play hard to get once in a while. Soonyoung takes a few steps forward, standing in front of a sitting Jihoon who’s looking at him with drowsy eyes.

 

“I’m not gonna kiss your drunk mouth ” Soonyoung teases as he leans forward to caress his boyfriend’s cheeks. Soonyoung has never seen Jihoon this pliant when he used to touch the younger so he takes full advantage of it.

 

“Fine! I’ll just kiss somebody else!” Jihoon shouts and Soonyoung can't help but laugh at his cuteness.

 

“Jihoon.” He jokingly scolds, his fingers threading through his boyfriend’s hair. Jihoon pulls his shirt towards him so that he’s hugging Soonyoung’s waist while the older continued playing with his hair.

 

“I was just kidding. Will you kiss me if I brushed my teeth?” Jihoon tightens the hug around Soonyoung’s waist and the latter can't help but sigh.

 

“Fine.” He’ll never win against Jihoon, anyway.

 

“For the record, your lips are really pretty.” Jihoon says when they're both in the bathroom. Soonyoung’s watching his boyfriend wipe down the remaining toothpaste on his lips before walking towards the bed.

 

“I like drunk Jihoon.” Soonyoung says while arranging the pillows so that they could both fit in his bed.

 

“Of course, you do.” Jihoon comes up behind him and encircles his arms around the older’s stomach.

 

“But I love all of Jihoon the most.” Soonyoung chuckles at his own cheesiness before removing Jihoon’s hold on him and plopping down the mattress.

 

“If I were sober, I would've kicked your sappy face but I’m not and your lips actually look like strawberries and I want to eat them.” Jihoon mumbled as they shifted on the bed to find a comfortable position.

 

“So aggressive.” Soonyoung teases and they are facing each other now, staring and getting lost in each other’s eyes.

 

“Just shut up and let me kiss you.” Jihoon scolds.

 

And of fucking course, they don’t just stop with kissing. It never stops until it's the third round and Soonyoung’s a crying mess because he’s so sensitive already but Jihoon isn't ready to pass out yet even if the alcohol’s buzz was long gonep from his system. Soonyoung really loves drunk Jihoon but sober Jihoon seems to know how to spoil him the most.

  


….

  


“So where did Wonwoo go?” Jihoon asks when he entered the kitchen. It’s morning already and luckily, they both dont have classes for the day.

 

“I think he’s still sleeping.” Soonyoung answered as he heats up the left over chinese takeouts Wonwoo brought home last night.

 

“Do you think he’d know if I sucked you off behind the kitchen counter right now?” Soonyoung almost falls onto his knees when Jihoon suggests those words. It's too late now, the idea is forever engraved into his mind.

 

“Hey, guys, good morning.” Unfortunately, Wonwoo’s already awake. Soonyoung curses his roommate’s timing.

 

“Nevermind.” Jihoon chuckles when he sees how flushed Soonyoung is right now.

 

“So are you two a thing now?” Wonwoo asks after pointing at Soonyoung and Jihoon back and forth.

 

“Maybe.” Jihoon complies as he happily sipped his coffee. Soonyoung’s still staring at Jihoon dumbfoundedly, still in shock from his boyfriend’s suggestion a few minutes ago. Jihoon chuckles again.

 

“Okay. I’m gonna go for a jog. You two take care.” Wonwoo shouts when he’s at the door and it slams shut before Jihoon could even say his goodbye.

 

“Bye.” Soonyoung’s finally back to earth. The microwave pings signifying that their food is done heating up.

 

“Since when did Wonwoo start jogging?” Jihoon inquires as Soonyoung served him Chinese food.

 

“When Junhui started to do freestyle dance at the park every thursday.” Soonyoung answers before plopping down on the chair across Jihoon.

 

“Huh. Never knew they were a thing.” Jihoon picks up the disposable chopsticks laid out in front of him and breaks it in half. He shoves a mouthful of dumpling before he noticed Soonyoung staring at him with an unreadablr expression.

 

“Yeah, so about you sucking me off in the kitchen.” Soonyoung watched his boyfriend choke on dumplings.

  


….

  


They somehow end up in the shower, lathering their bodies with soap. Jihoon motions for Soonyoung to face him so he could wash the latter’s hair with shampoo.

 

“Ji?” Soonyoung has his eyes closed the entire time, afraid of getting soap into his eyes.

 

“Yeah?” Jihoon answers back and chuckles when Soonyoung opens his eyes, only to have soap drip down from his forehead. Soonyoung screams in agony as Jihoon helps him shower his eyes off with water, laughing the whole time while the dancer drowns himself with water.

 

Soonyoung’s hugging him now, their bodies under the showers. The water bill would most probably increase but Soonyoung doesn't really care as of the moment.

 

“You’re my boyfriend now, right?”

 

“Of course, idiot and you are mine.” Jihoon answers and Soonyoung couldn't help but pull him into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a year of skipping around this au, i finally finished it. Thank god. This fic's been bothering me, irking me to actually finish this and now that its done I can finally feel the guilt slowly lifting off (except for the Booty Two Shoes) of my shoulders. Thank you so much for those who left kudos and comments on this fic. I may have slightly not so purposely abandoned this fic. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Hopefully, I can post new fics soon once my licensure exam is out of the way. Thank you for reading! And please continue to support my gays, SoonHoon.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be really slow .. that is if I don't forget...
> 
> Talk to me on twitter: @leethekwon


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